So I don’t often update this but I stumbled upon one of my friend’s blogs and it reminded me that I had one. This year has gone by way too fast and there have been a lot of changes. I was promoted at work, turned 21, failed a class, lost track of priorities, stepped down at work, bought and moved into a house, re-took the class I failed, got re-promoted at work and I’m currently wrapping up yet another semester of school. My first test is this Friday at 10:30 a.m., it’s my history class so I’m glad I’m going to be getting that out of the way first. My next tests after that are on Wednesday one is at 7:30 a.m. (!) and then one at 4:30 I believe and then I’m done. I’m ridiculously ready for a break and to get home for a few days and see my family and the few true friends I still have back home.
This year has been an eye-opener for me in terms of who I am and what defines me. Throughout my life I’ve tried to maintain the label as an optimist, I’ve gone through phases were I’ve become very pessimistic, but for the most part I try to be optimistic. In case you aren’t there yet (which I doubt) everything changes when you’re 21. As is custom with our society I don’t remember a lot from the time around my birthday and I realized that’s not something I like. I don’t really drink anymore, occasionally I’ll enjoy a beer or a few with my dad and family and any friends, but if I go to a party I’m usually not drinking. Alcohol just makes people sad and you know maybe prohibition was a good idea but prohibition never works. I recently watched a movie and prohibition was brought up and the guy they were interviewing asked the interviewer if he knew what the original prohibition was, the interviewer said alcohol, the person being interviewed said, “Nope. Adam and Eve, ‘Thou shalt not partake in the fruit from the tree of knowledge.’ Who was the cop? The Big Man upstairs.” That just kind of resonated with me and made me wonder why we even try to.
But I completely digress from my original point of this post. Myself (not trying to be conceited, honestly.) But I’ve always tried to be an optimist, but when I look around I can’t help but be depressed about where we’re heading. Human beings have a capability to be the most compassionate creatures on this planet, but we’re dicks to each other. I was recently watching a show (Fringe, which I love) and two character were talking and one of them said to the other, “One thing I’ve always admired about you is your optimism, don’t become a fatalist now.” I don’t know why I had to rewatch this episode a few times for this to click for me but that’s what people need. They need optimists. They need to be optimistic. I don’t really know where I’m trying to take this conversation but that’s what I’m trying to maintain about myself. I hope that that is what people might describe me in the future. Maybe not the first thing they think but I’d like for that to be a recognizable feature of myself. So that’s what I’m trying to work on for the next year starting right now. I’ve also started describing myself as a clean hippie. By that I mean that I believe in the same things hippies are really connected with, anti-war, environment problems, etc. I just can’t stand not feeling clean so that’s basically the only difference. I’ve tried to walk the walk too. I’ve tried to not over commit and tried to hold to any commitments I make; if I tell someone I’ll do something I honestly try my hardest too. If I tell someone I’ll hang out with them I try to hold to that.
Another thing that’s different is I enjoy working. We aren’t constantly slammed at my new store (that I guess is no longer a new store since I’ve been here for a year) like we were in Tuscaloosa which was just ridiculous. So I’ve been able to get to know a lot of the customers that are regulars and that’s been nice. There are only two people that I just can’t stand working with and it’s because they bitch all the time and I can’t stand that. I realize I sound like a huge hypocrite right now, bitching about people bitching but I’m trying to just leave it at I don’t like to work with their negative energy. Everyone else I work with makes it that much easier for me to go into work. There are a few people I hang out with consistently and everyone else with I’m on really good terms with so it’s nice to have that.
That all being said I think I’m done. As per usual there’s nothing terribly profound or insightful in this post. It’s just an update on what’s been going on with me. So anyways, I hope you enjoyed. I’ll try to update more often, which everyone says and no one ever does so we’ll see how that works out.
